When we go through difficult times in life or break in a relationship and feel the suffering, we need to remind ourselves that the Universe does not hurt us, but rather seeks to transform within us. But often transformation begins ruthlessly by taking away the things from us, we think we need most or we love the most. Not only do hard circumstances take away our relationships, but they give us some glimpses into our own “flaws” and what we need to improve. So what can we do when our wounds, our ugliness, or when our unloving feelings arise?
The healing work starts first beneath the surface of consciousness. Just like a physical wound heals from the inside out. We might be wise to tend to this wound in a very similar way to any other wound. Here are some things to consider:
1: Take your time out: When you are wounded you stop. Just as when you are sick you go to bed, so also do the same when your “heart is breaking”. Your energy flows inward to question and grieve, leaving you little energy for anything else. Give yourself a break, slow down, and take care of your basic needs: Food, rest, and basic self-care.
2: Try to know what is the problem: What is a difficult time to tell you something? Is this the last wound of a broken relationship, ( e.g. Saturn transit over your natal Venus ) How do you describe the condition, how long have you had it, and how did you get it? The wounded heart often needs some time to heal. You can do some of these things.
3: Create a Get-well Plan for yourself: Apply something to calm the pain down. Go inward to find the healer within yourself. This inner healer, speaking perhaps this time with the voice of divine power. Your own intuitive healer may say you’ve got to write it out, paint it out, cry or rage it out, or simply clean your house with a passion. Let your inner Saturn as healer, although things have changed, but they are moving in new directions with new possibilities. You may benefit by getting away for a while from your home or circle of friends. Go for a retreat or vacation to some place where you can gain perspective. Even a day away, or something to break up familiar routines can help.
Considering surrounding yourself with things that innately hold inspiring energy, or simply things you love, color, plants, and enjoy your time with nature, is a good way to overcome your depression. This could be allowing yourself things you’ve tended to deny yourself. Why not get yourself a pet, fresh flowers, a musical instrument, or whatever else you may have put on hold. After divorce, many people hated the loneliness of a double bed. So they can bring anything like an aquarium and are delighted in watching the fishes. Consider what lessons or insights can be gained and be open to the idea of how this experience can generate new possibilities for you. Move beyond shame and blame. Find out what was unconscious and invisible in the relationship. Keep cleaning your fears, anger, and irritation. It hurts, but you need to understand the part you played in this wounding. So it won’t be repeated in the future. During difficult times we often regress to obsessive-compulsive coping patterns. So by admitting your anger and your less-than-perfect behavior, you cleanse the wound with a deeper level of understanding.
4: Make a plan: The plan is your attitude and your healing therapy. It will be temporary and will need to be changed. Stick with your plan even when it’s hard. If you re-expose yourself to your ex-partner you are re-engaging in the shame/blame game. Don’t expose yourself to this wound again unless you’re with someone that can help you.
5: Give time to heal yourself: Protect your heart from the sometimes toxic advice of well-meaning friends, and resist the urge to expose your vulnerability to the world. So be patient and pace yourself. Can you create some scheduled routines and “dates” in your week? This could be as simple as knowing that on what day you can go to yoga, gym, and walk in the morning for 20 minutes. Every Saturday night you can go out to dinner with friends, and every Sunday night you can call someone whom you trust, for a heartfelt talk. Put the schedule up in a place. If you feel you need it. Like all wounding, full healing takes time, but we don’t have to suffer constantly. Build trust in yourself, that you are loveable and that we can love again. Trust in the process, forgive yourself if you’re not perfect. With time you will see the wound is healing beneath the surface.
6: Natural therapy for depression: Take plenty of fresh juice, green vegetables and sprouts e.g. alfalfa and mung daal. you can take cottage cheese and butter milk if it suits you. Take fresh lettuce, celery, grape fruits, or apple juice especially in the night before sleeping.
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