Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Conversation can go 3 ways..How to be Happy.. Self Analysis

Communication with other people is a major part of our life , we communicate with our parents, siblings, spouse, relations and at work. Communication is how we share the feeling of love and affection. This is one of the most important skill to have if we are good at it we could be happy, get more done and prosperous in life. 
If we cannot communicate well then life will be miserable, people don't understand you, you are not able to get your point or feeling across. It will be a disaster.

Probably good communication is one of the main things to have a happy and joyful life.
1) Adding context and meaning to the topic/conversation: Sometime an issue/topic is not well described or understood. To make it understandable we need to add details and context to it , without these details we may have gaps in understanding of a problem/topic. Since we don't understand.. the conversation will look like between people who does not not what is going on. Whenever we hear "You/I Don't Understand" is the time to set context as people are not on the same page.
2) Towards generalization : To understand a problem or topic we try to generalize it to be able to relate to it with our surrounding .. since we have different lifestyles everyone's generalization will be related to their experience in life .. which could be very different than the other person you are having conversation. You may have to explain how it relates and help other person relate. otherwise two people are having 2 different conversation at the same time .. you can imagine how it will go..

3) Narrowing down to a point/conclusion : We try to do it so that we can understand the main influencers of/for the topic or the problem. Sometimes we have multiple influences, It takes an effort to set the ground , describe the reason and explain the connection. This is how we find solutions in our life, If no solutions then we have issues in life to deal with. NO SOLUTION=MISERABLE LIFE.

Now imagine that there are 2 people having a conversation if one person is trying to narrow down the cause other is generalizing or one person is trying to generalize the problem even before a having a complete context. Both will result in incorrect conclusion.

Don't have a conversation which is hopping from one topic to another.. it will frustrate the other person and they will give up on you.

Without doing things in a sequence , problem solving or conversation is difficult. Figure out what phase of conversation/problem solving you are in.. and align yourself, otherwise it will be hard to have a conversation with you or you having a conversation with someone else.. If you have constant conflicts with people keep in mind life is not a mathematical equation where everyone will have the same equation and values to come to the same conclusion. There could be multiple conclusion and they may be opposite to each other.. that’s how we humans are.. we agree to disagree and still respect and can be together. If these contradictions didn’t exist human evolution would have been slow as everyone would have agree to an opinion and stay with it.. for lot of things when we have the same goals we need to agree, collaborate,execute and be together.

So the suggested sequence is
"Problem/Conversation"--->"Set Context"-->"Generalize it if needed"--> "Narrow down the conclusion"
Explain where ever the disagreement, try to respect other persons opinion and context.
Wishing you the best, have lovely conversations and Happy Journey through life!!!

One a side note : When only god or you close relatives can understand you; that means you need to really work on communication with humans :-), Some of us could get into so called spirituality  to avoid human interaction.


There is Never a perfect time, but we need to grow up anyways Self Analysis