Monday, December 29, 2014

It is Hard to be Happy.. :-) So we choose to be UnHappy

being HAPPY is such a HARD WORK that we take a easy(lazy) route and be UNHAPPY :-)
read the whole article to understand what i am saying .. worth a read 

We expect other people to understand us: We spend many hours on something.. we understand it better... how can other person understand the thing in same way as we understand in less than 5 minutes of conversation.  I have seen it with myself that I spent hours on a topic and then expect the same level of understanding from a person for what I explained in less than 5 minutes. It took me a while to grasp it .. now I take it easy and let the other person ask me questions and explain in detail or is this conversation really important with that person if not then avoid the conversation.

Other people expect us to understand them: In a role reversal.. sometime people explain us something and they expect us to be smart :-) to understand it and agree with them. I always take a pause and start asking for details which other person may feel is unnecessary.. but we need to politely ask and not assuming that the other person is wrong. Assuming other person is wrong can really mess things up and make both unhappy. Sometime it is better to avoid these conversations.. if we can without any repercussions.

Communication/Explaining : Of all the things for any excuse we should to be able to explain things in a meaningful way.. if we cannot then we cannot get our point across and makes both of us unhappy .. why... because we feel that other person does not understand us and other person feels that we don't know what we are talking about.

Asking questions or Inquiring : I have see it many time that we ask a question in a way we assume the other person is wrong or they don't know much.  What we think is conveyed in the expression of how we ask the question. On the other hand inquiring has no negative feeling or expression.. when we inquire in place of questioning we  are giving the other person an opportunity to share details .. which helps us being a better listener and people like good listeners.

Working with People : We work with people.. when going is good all is well..but when things go south .. in place of sharing the outcome we immediately try to find fault which is in someways negative rather than accepting the situation and finding ways to get better. It takes a better person to do.

Lack of confidence and being taken advantage of ...  Sometime when we feel this way.. we cannot be happy as there is no self pride.

Buying an Expansive vehicle: I myself have been in a situation where I bought a expansive car. When I look back at it .. probably I didn't needed that big of car .. I could have done better with a smaller car. It cost me more and I had to make car payments for months longer than what I would have done for a smaller car. I had to make sure that I had money for car payment which was cutting into my other things. So a moment of happiness could cause us some unpleasant feelings in the long term. This is just my example.. we all indulge in for a moment of happiness with prolonged side effect of unhappiness. CHOOSE CAREFULLY!!!

Most of us want to be Rich and Pampered (Kings and Queens) ... If it takes millions to be happy and successful. Then let's figure out a way to make millions.. :-) and be happy.. it will need lot of hard work, sacrifice and long hours to be a millionaire unless we get lucky with a lottery or we figure out a quick way to get rich.

Law of attraction Says... if we give happiness we will get happiness .. if we are jealous, angry or unhappy about something .. we will get these feelings echoed back to us.

Universe is going at its own pace ... Sun rises in the morning, we see stars at nights, we have cycle of seasons .. we have boss in office with what they expect from us .. we have to follow traffic laws so what control do we have? Where is the place where we can make a difference? May be the people around us, our kids and parents. The universe is doing and will continue to do the same thing as it has been doing since the origin of time.. WE NEED TO GET INTO THE FLOW OF UNIVERSE (giving) to be in sync with the power that may be to be HAPPY.

We can do something to prevent unpleasant events :  All said and done.. there is always something that we could have done to prevent the situation.. either by being planned, polite with a smile, using better words , with a +ve attitude or thoughtful of what we are dealing with. THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING!!! .. with time we will learn so many things that we will be able to mange our relationships with .. unsure, uneasy and randomly behaving people... these things will stop bothering us as we are able to manage.. WE WILL BE A BETTER PERSON.. when people start feeling that way.. they will do less to make us unhappy and care about our happiness..

There are always some people that we cannot make them happy :-). For those once we know .. we just have to try not to be on their wrong side when ever or how ever possible. It will always give you comfort that you have done what you could .. and keep on trying , but it is hard to make some people happy.

there could be so much more .. please leave a comment.. will add to the post and share it with everyone..


It is all about making people around us HAPPY to be HAPPY 
(if we don't then why will anyone make us happy?)

Since it is not easy to make people happy.. that is why we see more people are UNHAPPY :-)) so in some ways it is easy to be Unhappy than HAPPY.